With a vast imagination and a firm refusal to let others define her, Duchess Skylark is a bold and uncompromising force in the world of FemDom.
She is setting out to challenge and redefine what the meaning of Dominatrix is. We are honored to welcome Duchess Skylark to iWantBlog!
- What does Black History Month mean to you personally?
It means reclamation. Reclamation of pride, reclamation of history, reclamation of identity. A time to celebrate the achievements and greatness of those who fought through incomprehensible strife and turmoil to ensure the freedom of choice for black people today. It means honoring all those who came before us by never giving up, never quitting, never forgetting.
2. What is one thing about Black history that always fills you with pride?
Too many to boil down to one, but generally – the incredible tenacity of black people to push on despite being historically kneecapped by laws both political and social. It simply speaks to the best of humanity. Anywhere people have largely, if not completely, risen from oppression, it is something to celebrate. I’m proud of every achievement, big or small, as I know it was hard-fought and hard-won. I’m stubborn as hell; it really is my way or the highway – and I see that stubbornness, that emphatic refusal to surrender, represented in every achievement.
3. What role do you think adult artistry plays in shifting perspectives on Black identity?
On a surface level, visibility does matter. The politics of beauty, the politics of aesthetics, are very real. It may seem like a small thing, but what’s the phrase? Seeing is believing. Black people are beautiful, desirable, and worthy outside of being designated fleeting fetishes, and in porn, in FemDom, there is the opportunity to display the full breadth of black beauty and black identity. It’s not one thing, one look – we are a multitude like every other ethnic group or culture. And anyone can become a sex worker. The low barrier to access creates incredible diversity, including black diversity.
4. How do you incorporate themes of Black empowerment into your artistry?
This is something I struggle with. I appreciate BNWO for all it is, but it doesn’t quite fit my feelings about blackness, which to me is simply a fact of life and not something to focus on the exclusion of my personhood. I’ve dabbled a bit and have a few things planned that align more with my feelings, but it’s been tricky. Black empowerment in my work isn’t focused on incorporation but rather on refusing to compromise who I am to fit what they think a black woman should be. I also refuse to straighten my hair or whiten my appearance in any way – this is a lifelong stubbornness outside of work, though. It’s easier for me, as my curls are a bit looser, to resist doing something I know would make me more money – however, this small, daily act of defiance helps me retain and maintain black pride. Everyone has their own way.
5. How do you ensure your work stays authentic to who you are?
I do not compromise, even when I compromise. I show up when, where, and how I want to, with the ultimate consideration always being myself and never money. I’m lucky in that I have never had to worry about survival – it gives me the freedom to truly choose, and I recognize that. When I film, I film what’s in my heart, even if I have other content planned. When I make posts, it’s direct from the soul. I reflect often and trust my instincts.
6. How do you view the representation of Black artists in the Dominatrix community?
It is improving but still needs work. There is a very clear image of a Dominatrix in the cultural mind of society, and it’s not always a black woman. Representation is a constant battle and fight. People are drawn to what they are told to be drawn to. People’s sexuality is variable yet highly influenced by upbringing. If “hot” was always x characteristics, that doesn’t just go away. So, I view it as lacking but improving. Every black person I see succeeding in this space gives me hope one day, it will truly be a level playing field. But it’s a hope for the future, not a reflection of the present.
7. How do you think the Dominatrix community can better support Black Artists?
This is tricky. Increased visibility and promotion, for sure. But I also dislike that it’s often at the exclusion of other marginalized identities. It’s always just black people. I’d like to see days, maybe – Black days, Asian days, Queer days, Fat days, Trans days, etc. It feels uncomfortable excluding cishet white people from that, no matter the global socio-political realities of the world – but it can’t be ignored that every day feels like a white day as you see the same color/phenotype of artists in the top all the time. Privilege leads to more privilege. I will say that I’ve noticed increasing efforts to boost Black creators and appreciate it. Difficult to answer. Everything is a competition, and we are all born with varying levels of privilege – tons of white creators are doing worse than black ones, even with societal privilege.
8. What legacy do you hope to leave behind as an Artist?
I hope to show other black creators they don’t have to pigeonhole themselves into a certain category or look to succeed. I do a bit of everything, kink-wise. My imagination is vast, and I enjoy most things with equally enthusiastic people. But I feel that a few times in my career, I’ve been pressured into one thing – focusing on my blackness as the reason I deserve money or obedience. No. I am Black, but to me, it’s like saying my eyes are brown. It’s just a fact of my existence. It is not who I am. I am Duchess Skylark, and you will pay and obey me for no other reason than devotion to who I am, not arbitrary physical characteristics. I had a phone call early in my career where someone requested I “sound more black,” and from that moment on, a stubborn refusal to just be me and nothing else grew and grew. I do not mind my blackness being worshipped – my skin tone praised, my curls adored, my lips lusted after – but I do mind when it feels like the person isn’t seeing me at all and instead seeing a caricature. My legacy will be that you can be anything you want without fear of failure. I’m also pansexual, and race simply isn’t a factor in attraction for me in any way, so it’s hard for me to create from a limited sexual headspace.
Stay tuned for more of our amazing Artists and interviews throughout February!
