Seems like the number of people enjoying FemDom and, in general BDSM, has significantly increased, or it could just be that people are more open about this subject nowadays. Some people believe that everybody has a kink, but we just don’t know them well enough for them to share their kink with us, and this is not an impossible thesis at all if you think about it.
There are a lot of types of kinks and people can be passionate about all sorts of stuff, but FemDom really stands out. It’s a very complex kink, and a very intriguing and interesting topic at the same time, both for people who are attracted to/practicing FemDom and people who are not.
Let’s Go Back to the Start
Historically, there was only one type of sex that served for reproduction and that was PVI – penis-vagina intercourse. Until the last quarter of the 20th century, all those who were doing anything other than that were considered “abnormal” and put in the “paraphilia” box.
This idea could not be further from the truth though because we know for a fact that people enjoy doing all sorts of other sexual stuff besides the traditional PVI, such as kissing, oral sex, anal sex, use of sex toys, and everything else that might be included in lovemaking.
So, are kinks really paraphilia? Who determines what’s normal and acceptable and what’s not, and is the majority of people “abnormal”?
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Where Does Kink Come From?
Attraction to FemDom can stem from various psychological, cultural or social factors and probably from a bunch of other factors unknown to us. Even if we were to ask men who like being submissive what is the reason behind them being the way they are, we would not get the same answer from everybody. Let’s see where kink comes from first, and we might be able to understand FemDom better.
A study has been conducted at UC Santa Cruz recently, where researchers asked 260 kink-identified individuals why they felt attracted to it. The participants were gender-diverse and sexually diverse.
Their opinions and answers were divided into 3 major categories: nature, nurture, and mystery.
Kink is My Nature
The majority of participants said that being kinky was their nature and this is just who they are on a deep, fundamental level. Some said that it reflects their personality and lifestyle and others thought it might be genetic.
For them, this is their nature, their biology and they accept themselves for who they are, without questioning their kinks any further.
It’s Nurture
A lot of participants were “blaming” the way they grew up and the experiences they had, whether they were negative or positive. This included their parents’ approach, the media, trauma, and even childhood play.
The people who connected their kink to their trauma felt like being kinky is a way of recovering from the trauma and gaining power.
It’s Just a Mystery!
One-quarter of the study participants had no idea where all of this came from. Some tried understanding and eventually gave up, while others did not bother investigating at all, saying that there is no such thing as being kinky and that it’s all normal.
Female Domination
FemDom is short for female dominance, or female domination, and it’s a genre of BDSM, which means bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.
Although it is widely believed that men like submissive women, this is very questionable. First of all, most people, regardless of gender, like when their partner can hold their own outside and inside of the bedroom. Besides that, FedDom is strikingly high on the list of men’s favorite kinks, so it seems like they actually love and respect strong women after all.
Why Do Men Love Dominant Women?
Although male attraction to FemDom can be caused by a large number of factors, let’s focus on the psychological, social, and cultural ones.
The Psychological Aspect of It
Some individuals are attracted to FemDom because it allows them to explore their identities by testing their boundaries and understanding their own desires.
A very important part of this is vulnerability, as submission requires a lot of trust. By being vulnerable, a man can foster deeper emotional connections and achieve personal growth.
For many, FemDom can represent a break from their everyday life, as they get to relax and enjoy themselves in a safe environment. The relaxation becomes even bigger when you take into consideration that FemDom often challenges societal norms, bringing a higher level of arousal to the table. We know that forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter!
Social Factors
Let’s face it, society and its expectations can be very stressful and create a lot of pressure. This applies to any and every aspect of our life, especially to our sex life which is of such great importance. Societal norms are shifting and traditional gender roles are being challenged, allowing men to experience more diverse expressions of power dynamics in relationships.
Some men just want to be understood and have that feeling of belonging to a community which will validate their desires, and some might just be influenced by their friends or partners who encourage them to explore FemDom. Society is more open about sexual preferences lately, so this can allow better exploration of FemDom and promote understanding.
The Cultural Influence
Media representation is of great importance when it comes to our perception of anything really, so it’s no different when it comes to FemDom.
Some men might have seen FemDom portrayed in movies or literature, which could have influenced their desirability and sparked interest and curiosity. This intensifies even more if a man comes from a culture with matriarchal structures or female leadership.
A lot of sexual liberation movements are advocating for sexual freedom and exploration, which has also helped in accepting different sexual expressions, including FemDom.
Conclusion
To conclude, FemDom is a very complex kink and the attraction men might feel towards it can be affected by a large number of factors. What’s important is that men don’t judge themselves for their submissive side and they are not ashamed of it. Maybe it’s about time to shake up the societal norms we are so used to and create an environment where everybody will feel free and happy for being who they truly are.
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